Proof of Stake
~ D. T. O’Conaill
The following represents the most up to date compilation of information available on the clearnet surrounding the token known as $STOKR. The below is not intended to be considered as an exhaustive source of knowledge on this asset, nor are any of the statements contained therein to be considered as an endorsement of the return prospects of investment in this token. Given the fragmentary nature of this collection of documents, reflective of the generally fragmentary nature of knowledge about this token, the author cannot advise any specific action in regards to fund or capital engagement with this asset at present. The below represents due diligence undertaken on behalf of the DeSelby Fund incorporated in Hybrasil and is not intended as advisory to the aforementioned or any other fund, trader or entity.
“StokerLabs, and its premier decentralised financial product $STOKR, represent a new frontier in the world of defi that combines ground-breaking technological development, prosaic insight into the purpose and nature of human consciousness and privacy-tools in order to revolutionise the landscape of blockchain-assisted task scalability. $STOKR as an asset finds the heart of its innovation in its quality of telescopy: it moves from macro to more granular modalities with unprecedented efficiency, bringing together transanglospheric financial footlooseness with a distinctly wry attitude peculiar to our own small north Atlantic island.”
—An excerpt from the $STOKR white paper
“Wen this thing gonna 10X Ive got a fat sack to build my apocalypse bunker w”
—Transcribed from a screenshot taken in a private telegram channel for $STOKR investors
“Much has been written about just how plagued the emergent world of “decentralised finance” is with scams of all varieties. So called “rug pulls” and the endless proliferation of derisively named “shitcoins” have been one major consequence of this brand new technological space and its minting of overnight millionaires. Just as hyped up scams are predictably endemic to such a new and ever-altering technological space, so too is the rejoinder that every upcoming project hyped into existence promises to bring us something “radically new and never before seen.” Whether by the alchemy of jamming together previously existed buzzwords into unusual combinations or plucking neologisms of their own out of thin air each and every new token that blackens the skies of our feeds seems to desperately screech and crow about its own novelty. But $STOKR is the real deal. But if “advanced technology” and the “metaverse” and “quantum blockchains” have become worn cliches coming from crypto developers themselves, then no doubt hard-nosed and breathless declaration of a token’s technological “real deal” status are a cliche of crypto-watcher blogs like mine. But this time it’s the real thing. For serious guys”
—Excerpt from an archive of the Medium page of an individual using the penname MachineOfLovingGrace
As should be evident from these snippets the problem of understanding the nature of the $STOKR token is besieged not only by its own idiosyncratic nature but also the general “crypto-haze” endemic to its form. Its promoters speak in generalities as jargon filled as they are fantastic and its loud supporters take up detractors’ claims of the commodity as a “cult” with great and unironic enthusiasm. While the latter is the case with many in the space of so-called “Decentralised Finance” the holders and boosters of $STOKR embody this mindset in a far more elaborate and theatrical way as they have molded their communities and rituals on a variety of pre-Christian mystery religions of the ancient world.Smaller investors are referred to as “initiates” while more established investors, especially those either directly related to the developers themselves or involved in sub-communities that interpret and catalogue the actions of developers and the token’s place in the broader economy, gain the title of “hierophant.”
The above extracts involve contributions from, in order, the developers, an initiate and a moderately-well known hierophant. Given the consistency of standard crypto-space jargon across each excerpt we would not ordinarily suggest a stake in this token as an ongoing concern for the fund but further research has suggested to us that the clearnet and mainstream social communications of $STOKR boosters represent a deliberate strategy of occlusion on their part. What follows is more indicative of the substance of the community and the investment opportunity it might represent. Read on at your own risk. Invest carefully. Do not get captured.
“My thanks to Hierophant E and Hierophant σ for assisting myself and other new initiates in explicating the nature of the value stored within and represented by our tokens. Each day our understanding grows more full and rich and the true potential of this metatechnological feat becomes less and less opaque. The cult now sees plainly the hidden hands that operate behind the to-ings and fro-ings of this world and sees it fit to seize them with fits. We are but one rung up the ladder of paralysing the Powers That Be. Let us endeavor each day to climb one more higher.”
—Initiate Foxtrot, who has been linked to the clearnet personality of AdmiralSenzu88, speaking on one of the $STOKR communities on the custom MeshNet.
“The following coordinates have encoded our security for this session. 53°38’01.0″N 7°41’09.8″W. 53°40’16.8″N 9°03’49.8″W. 52.222166, -7.760268. This portion of the arcane working is locked into the firmament on the basis of the keys placed in the previously mentioned sites. These sacrifices provide stability to the chain and liquid value to our universe. We thank the brave initiates for the quality of their staking.”
—Hierophant Ж, speaking of vital ‘burial keys’ at a meeting hosted at a location which we cannot disclose and which does not, in the traditional sense, exist.
“Holy shit are we going to be the official Crypto token of the Bram Stoker Festival in Dublin!! Time for this thing to go to the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON”
—@KingCong/Moon4Sam, a minor Twitter crypto personality
As should be evident from the above excerpts the nature of the $STOKR token is far more arcane and involved than the usual crypto-space bloviating about advanced technologies and new paradigms of financial technology. Although the space of cryptocurrency and associate technologies contains much of its own in-jargon and feverish, cult-like atmospheres the $STOKR token community truly embraces these elements and takes them to the nth degree. The Bram Stoker Festival, based in Dublin, has denied any connection to and knowledge of the $STOKR crypto token following a number of inquiries. In this regard, as many others in its surface communiques and those portions of its that peak out like iceberg tips from the clearnet, $STOKR resembles other cryptocurrencies that “pump” on the basis of partnership rumours that never come to fruition. However the fact that at least two unidentified bodies have been discovered in the locations marked in the above communication as ‘key sites’ points to something that stakes out $STOKR as a radically departure from its contemporaries. This makes it a fertile investment opportunity for movers with the mind and the stomach for such growth possibilities.
“We are bonded in wood and blood. These are the oldest measures of values and, according with the circular notion of technological time that has been revealed to us, shall also be the future of our value system. We are staked by flesh and the spooling out of arterial systems like the pulling of a thread to unravel the substance of the world-order. The old flesh is the new technology. The old blood is the new currency. HODL $STOKR”
—Entitled “Summation of $STOKR value set/ White Paper 2.8” this was found on a scrap of paper tucked into an empty jewel case tapped to the back of an iron girder in the unfinished site of the Parkway Valley Shopping Centre Development, Limerick, Ireland
A dispassionate review of the broad range of materials surrounding this token suggests an investment opportunity both risky and compelling. Our due diligence complete on behalf of the DeSelby Fund the authors would like to full-throatedly endorse the fund take up a substantial position in this token. By any means necessary.
D.T. O’Conaill is an Irish cryptocartographer, pseudopsephologist and author of speculative and horror fiction. They are based out of the Sliabh Luachra institute for Hibernofuturism. They have been published in the Jayhenge Publishing Anthology Grandpa’s Deepspace Diner.